Well, I'm pausing in my short stories to write some television scripts. I have two scripts currently being reviewed by producers. It takes longer to get it reviewed than to write (producers receive hundreds of scripts and thousands of pitches each year). But I've had some very complimentary responses to my work, so I'm encouraged. Here are the two comedy pitches (summaries) for the scripts I have written.
Preheat
the Microwave.Com
Preheat the Microwave.Com is a quirky comedy about senior citizens.
SETTING: Serenity Garden, a senior citizen home
in New York City.
NUTSHELL: Seinfeld meets Waiting for God
LOGLINE:
The eccentric and elderly residents of Serenity Garden (motto: “you don’t have
to wait until you die”) overcome the challenges of daily life in spite of
making mountains out of molehills.
MARIA
MARIANI: (70s, short Italian, like Rhea Perlman)
LISA
MARIANI: (30s, attractive, type A young business executive)
TONY
ROSSI: (20s, attractive maintenance man)
SAM
CHANG: (70s, Asian)
ALICE
CHANG: (70s, Asian)
JEFFREY
CHANG: (30s, Asian, Sam and Alice’s grandson)
RALPH
GOLDBERG: (70s, Jewish, heavy set)
JUAN
LOPEZ: (30s, Latino, police officer)
ISABELLA
LOPEZ: (70s, Latina, Juan’s mother)
GREGORY
COOK: (70s, African American)
PANDORA
COOK: (70s, African American)
GINGER
WHITE: (70s, owns Mr. Pickles, the ugliest dog on four legs)
Dear
Exec,
My
name is Jerry Guarino and I’ve written a comedy pilot for a television series
called “Serenity Garden”. It takes place in New York City with a cast of diverse characters.
The series may remind you of Seinfeld and the British comedy Waiting for God. It’s a comedy for and about the baby
boomer generation reaching their seventies.
The
pilot episode, “Preheat the Microwave.Com”
introduces the main characters and their senior home Serenity Garden (motto:
you don’t have to wait until you die).
Maria Mariani tells her granddaughter Lisa that you have to preheat a
microwave before cooking. Lisa is
so amused by the concept that she enlists Tony, the maintenance man, to install
cameras around Serenity Garden, capturing the funny goings on there. But it all backfires when the video
feeds are reversed and the elderly residents witness an R-rated tryst between
Tony and Lisa.
In
subsequent episodes, the stories revolve around the quirky adventures of the
cast. Of course they are all
concerned about their mortality, but treat it in the most humorous way. A romance or two will develop. The seniors view their end of life challenges
as reasons to overreact, making their children and grandchildren crazy. They fight for their independence and
against bureaucracies of any kind.
Don Quixote lives.
I’ve
also tried to infuse this very American story with some British comedy, as
depicted in shows like Waiting for God
and the Yes, Minister/Prime Minister
series. Both of these shows
featured an element of bureaucracy.
In Waiting for God, Tom
Ballard contends with the senior center’s administrator. In Yes,
Prime Minister, the honorable James Hacker fights Sir Humphrey Appleby’s
red tape in the British government.
In Serenity Garden, the
seniors battle against the bureaucracy of the senior center.
It’s
really a comedy about everyday life, reminiscent of the Seinfeld stories. As a lifelong Seinfeld addict, I
wondered how these type of characters would change when they reached their
seventies. Serenity Garden is my
exploration of that question.
Preheat the Microwave.Com
is an adaptation of my short story by the same name.
------------------
Big
Harbor
An FX-style comedy set in
modern day Gig Harbor, (near Seattle) Washington.
NUTSHELL:
It’s Wings meets Newhart.
LOGLINE:
The Wilson family fun website is inundated by postings from a wild three day
party, leaving Linda and Bill to stop it before the parents return.
MAIN
CHARACTERS:
BOB
and NANCY WILSON: (married 60s)
run the Bed and Breakfast
DOUG
and LINDA WILSON: (brother 26 and
sister 24) run the water taxi service
UNCLE
JAKE: (50) runs a pirate fishing
charter
DEBBIE
WILSON: (daughter 22) works at the
B&B
BILL: (30s African American) maintenance man
for the water taxis and fishing boat
LAURA: (30s Asian) owns a Japanese steakhouse
next to the B&B
MARIA: (20s Latina) a sexy housemaid works at
the B&B
SALLY: (40?) a crazy seaplane pilot
Dear
Exec,
My
name is Jerry Guarino and I’ve written a comedy pilot for a television series
called Big Harbor. The series may
remind you of Wings and Newhart. The Wilson family owns a B&B, a water taxi service and a
fishing charter; the fishing charter is run by a crazy uncle who thinks he’s a
pirate #ARGH. The children run the
water taxis and work at the B&B. As a variety of oddball characters visit
the B&B, it’s up to the Wilson parents to manage the visitors while the
children are looking for true love.
In
the pilot, titled “Family Fun Day”, eighteen sexy tech executives invade the
B&B for a three-day working party. Unknown to the children, the parents are
facing some financial challenges. Doug’s
ex-college girlfriend is seducing him with a story about an affair she had in
France. Uncle Jake hosts six
Japanese businessmen, armed with cameras.
They join the techies in a wild party, documenting the debauchery on the
Wilson Family Fun website. It’s up
to Linda and Bill to stop the web postings before their parents return from an
anniversary dinner.
All
of the main characters are well defined in Family Fun Day, setting up the
series for a number of episodes of love and laughter. It was designed to appeal to all adult age groups, from the
older B&B crowd to the new tech savvy millennial singles. If you liked Wings and Newhart, you’ll
love Big Harbor.
