Well, I'm pausing in my short stories to write some television scripts.  I have two scripts currently being reviewed by producers.  It takes longer to get it reviewed than to write (producers receive hundreds of scripts and thousands of pitches each year).  But I've had some very complimentary responses to my work, so I'm encouraged.  Here are the two comedy pitches (summaries) for the scripts I have written.

Preheat the Microwave.Com

Preheat the Microwave.Com is a quirky comedy about senior citizens.

SETTING: Serenity Garden, a senior citizen home in New York City.

NUTSHELL: Seinfeld meets Waiting for God

LOGLINE: The eccentric and elderly residents of Serenity Garden (motto: “you don’t have to wait until you die”) overcome the challenges of daily life in spite of making mountains out of molehills.

MARIA MARIANI: (70s, short Italian, like Rhea Perlman)

LISA MARIANI: (30s, attractive, type A young business executive)

TONY ROSSI: (20s, attractive maintenance man)

SAM CHANG: (70s, Asian)

ALICE CHANG: (70s, Asian)

JEFFREY CHANG: (30s, Asian, Sam and Alice’s grandson)

RALPH GOLDBERG: (70s, Jewish, heavy set)

JUAN LOPEZ: (30s, Latino, police officer)

ISABELLA LOPEZ: (70s, Latina, Juan’s mother)

GREGORY COOK: (70s, African American)

PANDORA COOK: (70s, African American)

GINGER WHITE: (70s, owns Mr. Pickles, the ugliest dog on four legs)

Dear Exec,

My name is Jerry Guarino and I’ve written a comedy pilot for a television series called “Serenity Garden”.  It takes place in New York City with a cast of diverse characters.  The series may remind you of Seinfeld and the British comedy Waiting for God.  It’s a comedy for and about the baby boomer generation reaching their seventies.

The pilot episode, “Preheat the Microwave.Com” introduces the main characters and their senior home Serenity Garden (motto: you don’t have to wait until you die).  Maria Mariani tells her granddaughter Lisa that you have to preheat a microwave before cooking.  Lisa is so amused by the concept that she enlists Tony, the maintenance man, to install cameras around Serenity Garden, capturing the funny goings on there.  But it all backfires when the video feeds are reversed and the elderly residents witness an R-rated tryst between Tony and Lisa.

In subsequent episodes, the stories revolve around the quirky adventures of the cast.  Of course they are all concerned about their mortality, but treat it in the most humorous way.  A romance or two will develop.  The seniors view their end of life challenges as reasons to overreact, making their children and grandchildren crazy.  They fight for their independence and against bureaucracies of any kind.  Don Quixote lives.

I’ve also tried to infuse this very American story with some British comedy, as depicted in shows like Waiting for God and the Yes, Minister/Prime Minister series.  Both of these shows featured an element of bureaucracy.  In Waiting for God, Tom Ballard contends with the senior center’s administrator.  In Yes, Prime Minister, the honorable James Hacker fights Sir Humphrey Appleby’s red tape in the British government.  In Serenity Garden, the seniors battle against the bureaucracy of the senior center.

It’s really a comedy about everyday life, reminiscent of the Seinfeld stories.  As a lifelong Seinfeld addict, I wondered how these type of characters would change when they reached their seventies.  Serenity Garden is my exploration of that question.

Preheat the Microwave.Com is an adaptation of my short story by the same name.  

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Big Harbor

An FX-style comedy set in modern day Gig Harbor, (near Seattle) Washington. 

NUTSHELL: It’s Wings meets Newhart.

LOGLINE: The Wilson family fun website is inundated by postings from a wild three day party, leaving Linda and Bill to stop it before the parents return.

MAIN CHARACTERS: 

BOB and NANCY WILSON:  (married 60s) run the Bed and Breakfast

DOUG and LINDA WILSON:  (brother 26 and sister 24) run the water taxi service

UNCLE JAKE:  (50) runs a pirate fishing charter

DEBBIE WILSON:  (daughter 22) works at the B&B

BILL:  (30s African American) maintenance man for the water taxis and fishing boat

LAURA:  (30s Asian) owns a Japanese steakhouse next to the B&B

MARIA:  (20s Latina) a sexy housemaid works at the B&B

SALLY:  (40?) a crazy seaplane pilot   

Dear Exec,

My name is Jerry Guarino and I’ve written a comedy pilot for a television series called Big Harbor.  The series may remind you of Wings and Newhart.  The Wilson family owns a B&B, a water taxi service and a fishing charter; the fishing charter is run by a crazy uncle who thinks he’s a pirate #ARGH.  The children run the water taxis and work at the B&B. As a variety of oddball characters visit the B&B, it’s up to the Wilson parents to manage the visitors while the children are looking for true love.

In the pilot, titled “Family Fun Day”, eighteen sexy tech executives invade the B&B for a three-day working party. Unknown to the children, the parents are facing some financial challenges.  Doug’s ex-college girlfriend is seducing him with a story about an affair she had in France.  Uncle Jake hosts six Japanese businessmen, armed with cameras.  They join the techies in a wild party, documenting the debauchery on the Wilson Family Fun website.  It’s up to Linda and Bill to stop the web postings before their parents return from an anniversary dinner.

All of the main characters are well defined in Family Fun Day, setting up the series for a number of episodes of love and laughter.  It was designed to appeal to all adult age groups, from the older B&B crowd to the new tech savvy millennial singles.  If you liked Wings and Newhart, you’ll love Big Harbor.